Am I the only one, or do transitions become harder as we get older? I’m talking about any type of transition or change. Remember COVID when we were all stuck inside for months? That was a big one. A new job, a new school year, family transitions, moves, new house or apartment, new diet … change is hard.
Over the last few years the Lord has helped me through transitions by reminding me to turn to him in the midst of change. He wants to hear about it all and be with me every step of the way. The transitions don’t seem as scary when the Lord is with me, the One who knows me better than anyone. The One who promised that he would never leave me or forsake me (Deuteronomy 31:6) and that he is with me to the end of the age (Matthew 28:20).
A Life of Transition
Growing up an army kid, transition was my life. Our usual length of time at an installation was anywhere from six months to three years. During that time, friends were also coming and going. We made friends quickly because we knew the time we had was limited. We dove in deep at church and made the most of the time we had.
If it had been a really good place to live with deep friendships and a good church home, leaving was really hard. I am so grateful for the example of my parents. They showed my brothers and me that it was okay to be sad to leave a place, but we could always trust the Lord in what he had for us at the next station.
My mom is very relational, and leaving dear friends was always hard. I witnessed her process these transitions and it usually involved the community, lots of hugs and tears, and prayer. She was not afraid of the emotions that came with the transition.
Why is transition hard?
I am not a psychologist and don’t know the ins and outs of why humans struggle in times of transition and change, but I do know that we like comfort. We like to know what is coming, and we like to feel like we have some realm of control.
The summer before my oldest child was starting kindergarten, I took a deep dive into realizing that I didn’t have the control over my kids’ well-being that I thought I did. I was faced with the reality that I was about to send my precious five-year-old into a building for seven hours a day without me. I wouldn’t know every conversation she was a part of, who she was becoming friends with, or what other influences she would experience before I was ready.
What came out of my heart that summer was an ugly beast I didn’t know I had in me. I wrestled with God. I cried out to God. I truly cried, a lot. I couldn’t believe that I was doubting that God had my daughter in his hand and would be with her throughout the day at school. My doubt and fear shocked me.
I finally laid out all my worries at the feet of Jesus and audibly said, “Lord, I trust you. Help me in my unbelief.” Just like the father asking Jesus for help in Mark 9, I had to proclaim my trust and ask God to help me in my unbelief.
Moving Toward God in Times of Transition
When a transition comes and we are not ready, what do we do? We are all beautiful, unique individuals who process and handle change differently. Some of us may want to hole up and handle it on our own. Or perhaps we get angry and God is the last one we want to talk to. Some of us just cry (which is often me) and some want to talk to everyone about what’s going on and forget to talk with the Lord.
Psalms 56:8 says “You yourself have recorded my wanderings. Put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?” The Lord already knows all the changes and transitions. He cares about the details, they are in his book! He cares about our tears and collects them in a bottle. What an intimate God we belong to, One who is so near to us that he can bottle up our tears!
No matter how we respond to transition, let’s choose to go to God. He is always with us, even to the end of the age. Changes will always come, but God is the one who never changes. He can be our constant throughout our lives.
Moving Toward Community in Times of Transition
When the shutdown happened in March of 2020, I texted a friend and said, “I’m really sad that my son doesn’t get to finish preschool with his teacher that we love so much.” I needed to speak the sadness out loud. She grieved with me.
Speaking it out loud (or in this case through a text) helped me take a step forward in processing the transition. I was sad and needed someone to know. My friend didn’t tell me that I was being silly or that there are bigger things to worry about, but she was with me at that moment. And I know God is with me when I express to him what I’m sad about too.
No one needs to walk through a transition alone. It is humbling to confess going through a hard season, but it is also so freeing. We get to be the physical presence of Jesus to one another. If you don’t have people to do this with, I encourage you to join a community group this fall. Sign up for a Bible study or a class. Or ask your pastor for a recommendation for a mentor or a friend. They would love to help you build community!
Beauty from the Transitions
Transitions and change can be uncomfortable, painful, and hard. But God is always ready to use hard seasons to make us beautiful people if we are willing. Proverbs 3:5-6 says “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not rely on your own understanding; in all your ways know him, and he will make your paths straight.”
As we trust the Lord, even when we don’t know why we’re going through a transition or what will be on the other side, he is making us like a tree planted beside flowing streams that bears fruit in its season (Psalm 1:3). I want to be that tree! Strong, unwavering, and bearing fruit at the right time.
Praise be to God that he never leaves us or forsakes us. He is with us to the end of the age. He bottles up our tears and is making us like a tree planted beside flowing streams. Even in the midst of our times of transition, he is at work in us.
