How to Pray More with Less

There is nothing quite as paradoxically familiar and foreign as talking with God.

Hands raised in prayer, warm lighting. Reflecting on how to pray more with less.

The Power of the Tongue

Have you ever looked at your tongue? We may take note of our nose when trying on a pair of glasses, gloss our lips when chapped, and brush our teeth habitually, but none of these has quite the same power as this extraordinary interconnection of muscles kept in the cage of our mouths. 

Without any bones, the tongue’s agility and power reaches as far as life and as dark as death (Proverbs 18:21). This little member of our body can set someone’s life ablaze with a whisper, and as hard as we try to control it, it acts like a stray hound dog, skittish to the very thought of a collar (James 3). With it we bless God, curse our fellow human beings, overshare secrets, declare direction, promise undying love, and—lest we forget—pray. 

There is nothing quite as paradoxically familiar and foreign as talking with God. Interestingly, what I find more often than not is that the tongue tries to prove its power more in prayer to the all-powerful God than almost anywhere else. 

Especially for those of us who regularly exercise the tongue’s power in prayer, we can unconsciously assume—or blatantly believe—that more words in prayer means more power. If prayer was measured by the number of words used in intercession like miles are used to measure the strength of a runner, we can all too easily see the ultra marathon runner as superior to the sprinter. 

A clear sign of this is when someone has prayed for something for an extended period of time and God does not act in accordance with our request, we question whether prayer “works” or whether God heard our prayers at all. We downplay “foxhole” prayers, and the more one is religiously fluent, the more we are tempted to use longer prayers for alternative purposes (Matthew 6:5-6).

Now this is not meant to discourage periods of long intercession. Martin Luther is known for saying that he prayed an hour a day, and on busy days, he would make it a point to pray for two! Jesus was known to disappear all night to spend time in prayer and intimacy with his Father (Luke 6:12). 

The Power of Prayer

The question that needs to be answered is how much does God employ the power of the tongue to realize the power of prayer? How much do our clarifying thoughts and persistent speech have to do with prayer activating the Spirit’s effect on us, in us and through us? 

Jesus’ teaching on prayer which includes his example that we call the Lord’s Prayer says, “And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words.” (Matthew 6:7)

Right here Jesus makes it clear that it is not the number of words that makes a prayer effective. Then he continues, “Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.” Why don’t we need a ton of words? Because like a Father who knows life better than you and knows you better than you and loves you better than you, he already knows what’s best before we ask. 

The Power of God

It is from this deep understanding of God’s inexhaustible love that Jesus lays out the Lord’s Prayer. Simple. Short. Sweet. 

And yet, no matter how many times that passage is taught, it seems the temptation to convince God to show up in our needs shapes the length of our prayers. Like a child hungry for dinner, we keep asking our father in as many ways as we can fathom if the food is ready as if that will hurry it along. Then over time, we can begin to believe more in the power of the tongue in our praying than the power of God no matter the length of the prayer. 

This is where the thoughtful reader of Scripture should pause and ask: what would it look like to surrender to God in prayer rather than trying to control or over direct or micromanage him in prayer? While the answer is not necessarily less prayer, it could mean more prayer with less. 

Surrendering to God’s Presence in Centering Prayer

A practice in prayer that has served followers of Jesus throughout history is centering prayer. Centering prayer invites simplicity of speech to be the red carpet to the magnificence of God. Centering prayer is less about looking for a result as it is an openness to the freedom of God. While there is intention with God, the means—the words we use—are sparse for the purpose of surrender. It’s not about “getting” a particular feeling, although you will feel. It is not about “receiving” a particular vision or realization, although at times there may be an encounter. It’s about letting God be God, and you being you before him. 

While this may feel squishy to some “experts” in the Christian faith, it is a good reminder that we are all rookies when it comes to the fullness of God in his glorious triune wonder. It’s a checkmate to the “heresy of Eunomius, a fourth-century Arian theologian who audaciously claimed the divine nature to be entirely knowable by the human mind.”* Centering prayer acknowledges the limitation of words to exhaustedly represent our own needs and God’s mysterious glory. It is not the only kind of prayer one is to engage, but it is a beautiful addition to one’s walk with God, which invites us “to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge” (Ephesians 4:19). 

Centering prayer requires extended time but limited words. It was common practice for those ancient desert mothers and fathers of the Christian faith. It’s more like experiencing a slow sunset than it is taking a long walk. One word is usually the preference. One word that captures your intention as you merely “be” before God. For me, it is usually one word out of Scripture that I’ve been meditating on that fits the occasion. Usually thirty to sixty minutes is a helpful starting point. Whatever thoughts come before you, you surrender them to God for another time. You whisper your one word of intention (examples: God, rest, cross, holy, life, Jesus) and you wait in his divine care trusting he sees you and knows you and is ready to meet you in ways you didn’t know you needed. 

Usually when I engage in centering prayer, I set an alarm on my phone. I release myself from paying attention to anything other than God, and when the alarm goes off like a tap on the shoulder, I find myself more often than not surprised at how an hour has passed. 

On one such occasion when I came with the intention of “life” as my exhaled prayer, here is one journal entry of where I found myself at the end: 

As my phone alarm went off in an hour, not only did I feel at peace, but gratitude again was a dominant feeling. Grateful for how God has designed life. Grateful for the Author of life. Grateful to be alive. Grateful to feel grateful. A feeling/way of being that I don’t take for granted. 

Now, to be clear, I don’t always walk away grateful, but I do always feel it in my body, soul, and spirit. Sometimes I am frustrated. Sometimes I feel nothing. But even in the frustration and the nothing, God is working. If only we saw God present even in our frustrations and those “nothing” moments, we might sense more deeply in our bones we are his, and wouldn’t that be something. 

So try it. Pray more with less. Let the power of the tongue give way to the power of God. Who knows, God may even surprise you. 

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* Lane, Belden C. The Solace of Fierce Landscapes: Exploring Desert and Mountain Spirituality. Oxford University Press, 2007.

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Sex and Sexuality (Students)

Sex: It’s Worth Waiting For by Greg Speck
Greg Speck has been doing youth ministry for more than 30 years and has a remarkable ability to connect with students on difficult topics in ways that are relevant and helpful. This is a great read for any teenager who has questions about sex.

Sex Has a Price Tag: Discussions About Sexuality, Spirituality and Self Respect by Pam Stenzel
Pam Stenzel is not shy about the subject of teenage sexuality. She is very blunt, but also very clear. This book is addressed to both boys and girls. You will find personal testimonies, medical stats and practical solutions in this book.

Pure Eyes: A Man’s Guide to Sexual Integrity by Craig Gross and Steven Luff
Craig Gross is the founder of XXXChurch, which is a ministry to people who struggle with pornography and sex addiction, as well as to people in the sex industry. This is a great book designed for men and the struggles they face to maintain sexual purity.

Pure Heart: A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Integrity by Shellie Warren
This is an official resource of XXXChurch and is the female counterpart to Pure Eyes. This book addresses real and honest issues that women face in regards to sexual temptation and maintaining sexual purity.

Sex, Dating and Relationships by Gerald Hiestand
You will find some very clear, practical, and more importantly biblical wisdom in this book. This may be a great book for students and parents to read through together.

Washed and Waiting: Reflections on Christian Faithfulness and Homosexuality by Wesley Hill
The subject of homosexuality is increasingly a significant topic of conversation. With so many voices and opinions on the issue out there, Wesley Hill (a gay Christian) provides some helpful words on how the church can begin to think and talk about it in ways that are both faithful to scripture and helpful to those with questions and struggles.

Sex and Sexuality (Parents)

Hooked: New Science on How Casual Sex Is Affecting Our Children by Joe McIlhaney Jr., and Freda McKissic Bush.
This is one of the best book we have read, thus far, on the subject of sexuality and adolescence. It is a well-researched book that is very accessible for both teens and adults. We have found it very insightful and would strongly recommend you read this book.

So Sexy So Soon: The New Sexualized Childhood and What Parents Can do to Protect Their Kids by Diane E. Levin and Jean Kilbourne
A fabulous commentary on the over-sexualized culture that our children are growing up in and how it is impacting their sexual development. While it is a great book on how to talk to your children about sex, there is a great deal on practical information for parents on how to guide and protect their children in a sex-saturated culture.

Real Sex: The Naked Truth about Chastity by Lauren Winner
This is a phenomenal book for both parents and older teenagers. It approaches the subject of sex in a much more holistic sense, as well as in a communal sense.

Wired for Intimacy: How Pornography Hijacks the Male Brain by William Struthers
While this may not be all that helpful for teenagers, it is a great resource on understanding how pornography hijacks our brain and distorts the way we think about sex.

Teaching Your Child Healthy Sexuality: A Biblical Approach to Prepare Them for Life by Jim Burns
This book is similar to The Purity Code, but addresses you, as the parent, giving valuable ideas on how to address some of the biggest sexual issues our teenagers are facing today.

Sex, Dating and Relationships by Gerald Hiestand
You will find some very clear, practical, and more importantly biblical wisdom in this book. This may be a great book for students and parents to read through together.

Washed and Waiting: Reflections on Christian Faithfulness and Homosexuality by Wesley Hill
The subject of homosexuality is increasingly a significant topic of conversation. With so many voices and opinions on the issue out there, Wesley Hill (a gay Christian) provides some helpful words on how the church can begin to think and talk about it in ways that are both faithful to scripture and helpful to those with questions and struggles.

Sex and Sexuality (Online Resources)

purelifeministries.org
Founded by a former sex addict and his wife, this ministry offers articles and resources for those who struggle with sexual sin and for spouses of those who struggle.

xxxchurch.com
One of the leading resources in helping men and women fight the battle for their sexual purity, XXX Church offers resources, blogs, videos and confessional opportunities for men and women struggling with sexual sin. Also, they feature a section for those dealing with the repercussions of their spouse’s sin.

fightthenewdrug.org
Fight the New Drug’s message is based on science and facts. In a sense, science is an international currency. They explain why porn is harmful by educating people about the negative psychological and physical reactions it causes.

Student Development (Students)

Can I Ask That? Volume 1 (Student Guide) by Jim Candy, Brad M. Griffin, and Kara Powell

Can I Ask That? Volume 2 (Student Guide) by Jim Candy, Brad M. Griffin, and Kara Powell

New City Catechism by Tim Keller

Just Do Something: A Liberating Approach to Finding God’s Will by Kevin DeYoung

Called: The Crisis and Promise of Following Jesus Today by Mark Labberton

Life Together by Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Before You Go: Following Jesus and Growing in Your Faith After High School by Gerald Fadayomi

Student Development (Parents)

Growing With: Every Parent’s Guide to Helping Teenagers and Young Adults Thrive in Their Faith, Family, and Future by Kara Powell and Steven Argue

The Teenage Brain: A Neuroscientist’s Survival Guide to Raising Adolescents and Young Adults by Frances E. Jensen

Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain by Daniel J. Siegel

Understanding Your Young Teen: Practical Wisdom for Parents by Mark Oestreicher

Parenting Beyond Your Capacity: Connect Your Family to a Wider Community by Reggie Joiner and Carey Nieuhof

Websites

Center for Parent and Youth Understanding

Digital Kids Initiative

Fuller Youth Institute

HomeWord

Books

Sticky Faith by Chap Clark and Kara Powell

Sticky Faith Guide for Your Family by Kara Powell

Like Dew Your Youth by Eugene Peterson

Give Them Grace by Elyse Fitzpatrick

Age of Opportunity by Paul Tripp

The Space Between by Walt Mueller

How to Talk to Your Child about Communion

At Christ Community, we believe communion is one of two sacraments of the church, with baptism being the other. A sacrament is a directive, something you do because someone told you to do it or a command. Communion is a sacrament because Jesus commanded the church to practice it. Communion is a ceremony the church observes and practices as a sign of the grace God has shown to each of us. Communion is a way for those who have experienced the saving grace of Jesus to remember and celebrate what Jesus did when He died on the cross, and God raised Him from the dead.

When do I talk to my child about Communion?

Children are naturally curious and commonly ask questions about communion. If your family is involved at church, they may start asking these questions at a really young age. If the question is asked, it is the time to talk about communion.

Questions Kids Might Ask & How You Might Respond

WHAT is Communion?

Communion is for people who have made the choice to live their lives for Jesus and follow Him. They will eat small pieces of bread to remember Jesus’ body, which was broken because of His love for us. They will also drink juice to remember Jesus bled because of His love for us. Communion has other names. Sometimes communion is called the Lord’s Supper and communion can also be called the Eucharist, which means giving thanks.

WHY do we take Communion?

Communion is our way of remembering the last supper Jesus had with the disciples before He was arrested. That is why it is sometimes called the Lord’s Supper. The story about this meal with Jesus and the disciples is found in Matthew 26:17-30, Mark 14:12-26, Luke 22:7-23, and 1 Corinthians 11:23-26.Jesus said some very important words to His disciples during this meal. He said “Do this in remembrance of Me.” (Luke 22:19, 1 Corinthians 11:24-25). We include communion in our worship service as a special way to remember who Jesus is and what He did for each of us.1 Corinthians 11:26 says, “For whenever you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes.” When we take communion, we are reminded of Jesus’ death and we’re able to thank Jesus for sacrificing His life for ours on the cross.

WHO should take Communion?

People who are part of God’s family, and have asked Jesus to forgive their sins, are invited to participate in communion. Participating in the holy sacrament of communion reflects living lives of worship and obedience to God.How do you become a part of God’s family? You pray and surrender your entire life to Jesus and ask God to forgive you of your sins. The Holy Spirit gives you strength and wisdom to obey.

NEXT STEPS:

Each Christ Community campus has resources available to help guide your conversation with your children about Communion. If you feel your child is ready for more, please contact your Children’s or Student Pastor.

SEXUALITY

God Made All of Me! Justin and Lindsey Holcomb
God Made Boys and Girls: Helping Children Understand the Gift of Gender Marty Machowski
God Made Your Body Jim Burns
How God Makes Babies Jim Burns
Teaching Your Children Healthy Sexuality: A Biblical Approach to Prepare Them for Life Jim Burns

GRIEF / DEATH

Goodbye to Goodbyes Tales That Tell the Truth Lauren Chandler and Catalina Echeverri
Someone I Love Died Christine Harder Tangvald

IDENTITY

When God Made You Matthew Paul Turner
When God Made You Jane G. Meyer
The Gospel In Color – For Kids: A Theology of Racial
Reconciliation for Kids Curtis A. Woods, Jarvis J. Williams, Pip Craighead, Rommel Ruiz
God Made Me AND You: Celebrating God’s Design for Ethnic Diversity Shai Linne, Trish Mahoney
God’s Very Good Idea: A True Story of God’s Delightfully Different Family Trillia Newbell, Catalina Echeverri

ANXIETY / FEAR

It Will be Okay: Trusting God Through Fear and Change Lysa TerKeurst
Hey Warrior Karen Young
Zoe’s Hiding Place David Powlison

ADVENT / CHRISTMAS

Unto Us Family Worship Guide Doorposts Music
Advent Storybook Laura Richie
The Christmas Story Autumn Ward Preschool
The Advent Storybook: 25 Bible Stories Showing Why Jesus Came Laura Richie and Ian Dale
The Christmas Promise Alison Mitchell, Catalina Echeverri
Song of the Stars: A Christmas Story Sally Lloyd Jones

EASTER

The Garden, The Curtain, The Cross Carl Laferton
The Easter Story Patricia A Pingry Preschool
The Story of the Easter Robin Dandi Daley MacKall Preschool
The Easter Story Autumn Ward Preschool
Holy Week: An Emotions Primer Danielle Hitchen and Jessica Blanchard Preschool
Benjamin’s Box: The Story of the Resurrection Eggs
The Story of the Resurrection Eggs Melody Carlson and Jack Stockman
Easter Love Letters from God

BIBLE GOSPEL STORY

3-1 A Picture of God Joanne Marxhausen
Action Bible Sergio Cariello
The Biggest Story Kevin DeYoung
The Read-Aloud Book of Bible Stories Amy Steedman
The Story of God’s Love for You Sally Lloyd-Jones

DEVOTIONAL BOOKS

Thoughts that Make Your Heart Sing Sally Lloyd- Jones
The Radical Book for Kids George Thornton
Bible Infographics Harvest Kids
Notes from JesuMikal Keefer
I Am: Names of God Diane Stortz
The Case for Christ for Kids Book Series Lee Strobel
Indescribable: 100 Devotions for Kids About God and Science Louie Giglio
Exploring Grace Together: 40 Devotionals for the Family Jessica Thompson and Elyse M. Fitzpatrick

GENERAL

Lord’s Prayer Cards She Reads Truth
Praying in Color Sybil MacBeth
The Ology Marty Machowski
I Will Thank You! Kids Read Truth, guided journal, scripture, and art

BIBLE GOSPEL STORY

The Big God Story – Michelle Anthony
Images of God Marie – Hélène Delval
Everything A Child Should Know About God – Kenneth N. Taylor
Jesus Storybook – Sally Lloyd- Jones
WOW! The Good News in Four Words – Dandi Daley Mackall
God’s Very Good Idea – Trillia Newbell
I Am: The Names of God for Little Ones – Diane Stortz
The Storm That Stopped – Alison Mitchell
Goodbye to Goodbyes – Lauren Chandler
The Friend Who Forgives – Dan DeWitt
When I Pray for You Matthew – Paul Turner
The One O’Clock Miracle – Alison Mitchell
The Read-Aloud Bible Stories – Ella K. Lindvall
Loved: The Lord’s Prayer – Sally Lloyd Jones
The Beginner’s Gospel Story Bible – Jared Kennedy, Trish Mahoney

GENERAL

The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies
to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind
 – Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson

General Parenting

The Look and Tell Bible – Thomas Nelson
God Bless You & Goodnight – Hannah Hall
Who Sang the First Song? – Ellie Holcomb
You Are – Emil Assell
Tonight – Emily Assell
The Read-Aloud Bible Storie– Ella K. Lindvall
Loved: The Lord’s Prayer – Sally Lloyd Jones
The Biggest Story ABC – Kevin DeYoung and Don Clark

General Parenting

Spiritual Parenting – Michelle Anthony
Don’t Miss It – Reggie Joiner and Kristen Ivy
Mom Set Free – Jeannie Cunnion
Bible Praying for Parents – Keith Ferrin
Kids Can! – Leah Archibald
Faith begins at Home – Mark Holmen
Grace Based Parenting – Dr. Tim Kimmel
Pass It On – Jim Burns and Jeremy Lee
Faithful Families – Creating Sacred Moments at Home – Traci Smith
Becoming a Spiritually Healthy Family – Michelle Anthony
Faith Conversations for Families – Jim Burns
The Sticky Faith Guide For Your Family – Dr. Kara Powell
Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family – Paul David Tripp
Handfree Mama: A Guide to Putting Down the Phone, Burning the To-Do List, and Letting Go of
Perfection to Grasp What Really Matters! – Rachel Stafford
Raising Grateful Kids in an Ungrateful World – Kristen Welch

PLAN A VISIT
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Leawood Campus
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Olathe Campus
  • 20600 W 119th Street

    Olathe, KS 66061
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  • Sunday 9:00 & 10:30 AM
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Shawnee Campus
  • 13330 W 62nd Terrace

    Shawnee, KS 66216
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