Sometimes our hardest moments are the most formational. A few months ago I had the beautiful experience of my soul being ministered to by the Holy Spirit. The circumstances were hard, but I will never forget the care the Lord provided me during that time.
I had hit a low point. I did not see it coming, but looking back I can now see the warning signs. For weeks it seemed one hard thing happened after another and it was taking an emotional toll. I was not slowing down to process, to pray about it, or to share with others. I had no idea how stretched I was until one morning a friend asked me, “Are you okay?” That simple question was all it took to break the very weak barrier I had constructed.
Tears immediately came to the surface and I could hear my soul screaming “No, I’m not okay.” The tears wouldn’t stop. I cried in the car. I cried while walking my dog. I cried doing the dishes. I texted my husband to give him a heads up of the crying wife he’d be coming home to. I needed the tears, but it was uncomfortable and vulnerable.
A lot of what happened leading up to this point was out of my control. A family member in the hospital, lots of sickness, stress at work, starting a new class, etc. The exhaustion, stress, and not taking care of myself or letting the Spirit guide me through all of this, made me spiritually and emotionally weak. I relied on my own strength to just keep going. “It’s just a crazy season,” I would say to myself.
My guard was down and then the lies began to slip in. I started taking things personally that normally wouldn’t bother me. I began hearing a voice whispering to me that I was a failure as a wife, mother, and friend along with a huge list of reasons why.
When my friend asked if I was okay, I was primed to break. It was a rough couple days after that initial breakdown, but I am so thankful that the Lord prompted my friend to ask me that simple question. I needed it to realize my need to slow down, to humble myself before the Lord, and to be restored by him alone.
A Sweet Surprise
In the gospel accounts, when Jesus is in the wilderness for forty days, it says that the angels were ministering to him. This has always amazed me and captivated my imagination. I love that Jesus is not alone in the wilderness. And I also love that Jesus, the son of God, is being ministered to. He needed the encouragement and support like we do. When we are at our lowest points, we need to be ministered to!
In this time of deep distress, I felt the Spirit ministering to my soul. I needed to have that day of crying to break through the weak barricade I had tried to build to protect myself. After the crying had slowed, my soul cried out to God. It was a simple “Help, Lord.” My soul felt battered and tender. The lies were loud and I was tempted to hide in shame.
If you know Jesus, then you know how the Lord responded to me in that moment. The Lord gently drew me to himself. He wrapped my battered soul in his loving arms, and didn’t leave my side. He even brought a new song to me that weekend that I listened to on repeat and heard it as his love song to me. The song is “With Me” by Hillsong Recording. One verse in particular has really stuck with me. The words are:
Who else could comfort, the way You do
Even by fire, You’re making me new
When all else is shaken
There′s one thing I know
Jesus You′ve promised
You won’t let me go
Road to Recovery
Even now my soul still feels a little battered from that low time. But I’m okay with that because it reminds me of my sweet Savior and being so loved by him in that moment. It is a reminder that I cannot walk through this life without walking alongside Jesus.
Have you had a low point when you have experienced the sweet care of the Lord? Perhaps you’re in it now and long for that care. I encourage you to share with a trusted friend, pastor, community group or Bible study leader, who can pray with you and support you. Jesus was ministered to by the angels while in the wilderness, and God can put people in our lives to do the same for us as well.
But also don’t underestimate the ability of the Holy Spirit to meet us in our time of grief, sorrow, loneliness, or shame. Start by praying and sit with quiet expectation. We are not alone, friends. The Holy Spirit is ready to comfort us and draw us back to the Lord. May we turn to God the Father in all our highs and lows.
