Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing
by Jay Stringer
Hosts & Guests
Jay Stringer – Guest
Paul Brandes – Co-Host
Bill Gorman – Co-Host
Addressing Sexual Brokenness
Unwanted sexual behaviors are not random but reflect unaddressed parts of one’s story. Dealing with these underlying issues can lead to wider stories of healing. In this podcast episode, we talk with Jay Stringer about bringing the problems, heartache, brokenness, and sin into the foreground and get really curious about the origins of how that all began. And then, with curiosity and kindness, that’s how we are able to heal and grow.
Three key takeaways from this episode:
- Insights into the journey out of unwanted sexual desires and behaviors
- The church can be a significant place for sexual shame to develop due to secrecy, silence, and judgment. Christians need to open up about the realities of sexual brokenness and renew their sexual mind by submitting and being curious about it.
- Sexual brokenness can be a roadmap to healing rather than a life sentence of shame or addiction. By addressing underlying issues, we can experience wider stories of healing.
Don’t just take our word for it; listen to the entire episode to discover more insights about the journey out of unwanted behaviors.
Jay Stringer is a clinical researcher, author, and speaker best known for his work on the topic of unwanted sexual behavior. Jay’s research looks at the origins of this behavior, which often results from unresolved childhood trauma and present-day issues such as a lack of purpose, depression, and anxiety. His book, Unwanted, challenges the traditional approaches of shame and lust management, instead encouraging people to embrace their brokenness as a roadmap to healing. Through his work, Jay is committed to helping people understand their stories of brokenness, and ultimately find healing and growth.
“The danger of purity culture is that we can’t fail to educate, and then also try to trap and convict people of sin. I think that’s very sinful behavior…”
– Jay Stringer
“Become your child’s Google.” “The reality is that the average age of initial exposure is nine to eleven with porn; the parent has the choice to either say I’m going to be the primary sex educator of the child or [it will be] porn or my middle school peers.”
– Jay Stringer
“Deprivation and Entitlement: We live with a lot of deprivation. We don’t feel like our needs are that important. We don’t take care of ourselves well. And so then when we actually get the opportunity that we sign off for the night, we move from this place of deprivation and then seesaw into entitlement of, “I deserve this thing.””
– Jay Stringer
02:19 Unwanted sexual behavior is not random
07:59 Renewing the sexual mind
14:38 Harm of the Purity Culture
21:20 Primary sex educators for children
26:31 Finding calm in healthy ways
28:04 Emotional and physical calming and healing
31:02 Deprivation and entitlement
34:57 Swim toward fear
38:47 Churches provide education