But What About The Christian Sexual Ethic? | POD 024
Have you ever felt the Christian sexual standard is overwhelmingly narrow? In this episode we address questions about church life, gender dysphoria, and more.
Have you ever felt that the Christian sexual standard is overwhelmingly narrow? In this episode, we delve into the topic of Christian sexual ethics with our host, Bill Gorman, and guests Ben Beasley and Nikki Dieker. Together, they navigate the complex landscape of human sexuality, revising Christ Community’s paper to make it more relevant to today’s cultural moment. Throughout the conversation, they discuss the theological and practical implications of the Christian sexual ethic, addressing questions about church life, gender dysphoria, and more. They also highlight the importance of community, spiritual discipline, and the pursuit of Jesus in navigating these challenging conversations. Get ready for a thought-provoking and insightful discussion that offers guidance and resources for those seeking to follow Jesus in today’s world.
THREE KEY TAKEAWAYS:
Identity and Vulnerability: They discuss the importance of questioning one’s identity in relation to core beliefs of the Christian faith, and the need for a supportive and safe community within the church, especially in dealing with the vulnerability and brokenness associated with discussing Christian sexual ethics.
Community and Accountability: The significance of being involved in a faith community surrendered to scripture, rich spiritual friendships, and the importance of accountability in living out a Christian life and sexual ethic. The emphasis on the communal nature of faith and the need for support from others in following Jesus.
Spiritual Discipline and Faith: The impact of rigorous spiritual discipline, self-mastery, and faith, including spiritual disciplines like prayer, study, and fasting, in guiding one’s life and recognizing and redirecting bodily desires.
Ben Beasley enjoys communicating God’s Word in speech and writing, and he is interested in the church as a place of transformation for people individually and collectively. He is fond of exploring the many questions of faith and spiritual formation by engaging with the works of authors, poets, and artists. Ben received his Master of Divinity from Trinity Evangelical Divinity School and his Master of Theology from Princeton Theological Seminary.
Nikki Dieker has been on staff at Christ Community since 2017, but has attended the Olathe Campus with her family since 2007. She is married to her best friend Ryan, and has three incredible children, Noah, Calvin, and Hadley. She loves hiking, getting lost in books, coffee, and spending time with friends. Nikki is passionate about connecting people to one another and the church.
QUOTES:
“We need each other. And so I think, yeah, we need those mothers and fathers who’ve gone before us. We need those brothers and sisters who are running beside us. And we need those kids that we’re encouraging that are coming behind us.” — Nikki Dieker
“We are all sexually broken. So yeah, it highlights that this is something that rubs up against each one of us in deeply personal places, because we’re all broken.” — Nikki Dieker
“The traditional Christian sexual ethic just feels like, to our moral taste buds, it almost feels, like, absurd. It doesn’t, you know, like, it doesn’t taste well.” — Ben Beasley
“Being involved in a faith community, is key. A community that is surrendered to scripture. That’s where life is. And when we follow Jesus, we follow him through his word.” — Ben Beasley
CHAPTERS:
00:00 Church revises paper on Christian sexual ethics.
06:24 Positive feedback on updated Christian sexuality content.
07:06 Paper revisions respond to evolving cultural context.
12:55 CS Lewis’ challenge on following Jesus honestly.
15:14 Modern age of identity questioning and harm.
18:40 Embracing vulnerability, shame, and mental health.
22:58 Growing in faith, friendship, and intimacy experiences.
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Sex: It’s Worth Waiting For by Greg Speck Greg Speck has been doing youth ministry for more than 30 years and has a remarkable ability to connect with students on difficult topics in ways that are relevant and helpful. This is a great read for any teenager who has questions about sex.
Sex Has a Price Tag: Discussions About Sexuality, Spirituality and Self Respect by Pam Stenzel Pam Stenzel is not shy about the subject of teenage sexuality. She is very blunt, but also very clear. This book is addressed to both boys and girls. You will find personal testimonies, medical stats and practical solutions in this book.
Pure Eyes: A Man’s Guide to Sexual Integrity by Craig Gross and Steven Luff Craig Gross is the founder of XXXChurch, which is a ministry to people who struggle with pornography and sex addiction, as well as to people in the sex industry. This is a great book designed for men and the struggles they face to maintain sexual purity.
Pure Heart: A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Integrity by Shellie Warren This is an official resource of XXXChurch and is the female counterpart to Pure Eyes. This book addresses real and honest issues that women face in regards to sexual temptation and maintaining sexual purity.
Sex, Dating and Relationships by Gerald Hiestand You will find some very clear, practical, and more importantly biblical wisdom in this book. This may be a great book for students and parents to read through together.
Washed and Waiting: Reflections on Christian Faithfulness and Homosexuality by Wesley Hill The subject of homosexuality is increasingly a significant topic of conversation. With so many voices and opinions on the issue out there, Wesley Hill (a gay Christian) provides some helpful words on how the church can begin to think and talk about it in ways that are both faithful to scripture and helpful to those with questions and struggles.
Sex and Sexuality (Parents)
Hooked: New Science on How Casual Sex Is Affecting Our Children by Joe McIlhaney Jr., and Freda McKissic Bush. This is one of the best book we have read, thus far, on the subject of sexuality and adolescence. It is a well-researched book that is very accessible for both teens and adults. We have found it very insightful and would strongly recommend you read this book.
So Sexy So Soon: The New Sexualized Childhood and What Parents Can do to Protect Their Kids by Diane E. Levin and Jean Kilbourne A fabulous commentary on the over-sexualized culture that our children are growing up in and how it is impacting their sexual development. While it is a great book on how to talk to your children about sex, there is a great deal on practical information for parents on how to guide and protect their children in a sex-saturated culture.
Real Sex: The Naked Truth about Chastity by Lauren Winner This is a phenomenal book for both parents and older teenagers. It approaches the subject of sex in a much more holistic sense, as well as in a communal sense.
Wired for Intimacy: How Pornography Hijacks the Male Brain by William Struthers While this may not be all that helpful for teenagers, it is a great resource on understanding how pornography hijacks our brain and distorts the way we think about sex.
Teaching Your Child Healthy Sexuality: A Biblical Approach to Prepare Them for Life by Jim Burns This book is similar to The Purity Code, but addresses you, as the parent, giving valuable ideas on how to address some of the biggest sexual issues our teenagers are facing today.
Sex, Dating and Relationships by Gerald Hiestand You will find some very clear, practical, and more importantly biblical wisdom in this book. This may be a great book for students and parents to read through together.
Washed and Waiting: Reflections on Christian Faithfulness and Homosexuality by Wesley Hill The subject of homosexuality is increasingly a significant topic of conversation. With so many voices and opinions on the issue out there, Wesley Hill (a gay Christian) provides some helpful words on how the church can begin to think and talk about it in ways that are both faithful to scripture and helpful to those with questions and struggles.
Sex and Sexuality (Online Resources)
purelifeministries.org Founded by a former sex addict and his wife, this ministry offers articles and resources for those who struggle with sexual sin and for spouses of those who struggle.
xxxchurch.com One of the leading resources in helping men and women fight the battle for their sexual purity, XXX Church offers resources, blogs, videos and confessional opportunities for men and women struggling with sexual sin. Also, they feature a section for those dealing with the repercussions of their spouse’s sin.
fightthenewdrug.org Fight the New Drug’s message is based on science and facts. In a sense, science is an international currency. They explain why porn is harmful by educating people about the negative psychological and physical reactions it causes.
Student Development (Students)
Can I Ask That? Volume 1 (Student Guide) by Jim Candy, Brad M. Griffin, and Kara Powell
Can I Ask That? Volume 2 (Student Guide) by Jim Candy, Brad M. Griffin, and Kara Powell
New City Catechism by Tim Keller
Just Do Something: A Liberating Approach to Finding God’s Will by Kevin DeYoung
Called: The Crisis and Promise of Following Jesus Today by Mark Labberton
Life Together by Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Before You Go: Following Jesus and Growing in Your Faith After High School by Gerald Fadayomi
Student Development (Parents)
Growing With: Every Parent’s Guide to Helping Teenagers and Young Adults Thrive in Their Faith, Family, and Future by Kara Powell and Steven Argue
The Teenage Brain: A Neuroscientist’s Survival Guide to Raising Adolescents and Young Adults by Frances E. Jensen
Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain by Daniel J. Siegel
Understanding Your Young Teen: Practical Wisdom for Parents by Mark Oestreicher
Parenting Beyond Your Capacity: Connect Your Family to a Wider Community by Reggie Joiner and Carey Nieuhof
Websites
Center for Parent and Youth Understanding
Digital Kids Initiative
Fuller Youth Institute
HomeWord
Books
Sticky Faith by Chap Clark and Kara Powell
Sticky Faith Guide for Your Family by Kara Powell
Like Dew Your Youth by Eugene Peterson
Give Them Grace by Elyse Fitzpatrick
Age of Opportunity by Paul Tripp
The Space Between by Walt Mueller
How to Talk to Your Child about Communion
At Christ Community, we believe communion is one of two sacraments of the church, with baptism being the other. A sacrament is a directive, something you do because someone told you to do it or a command. Communion is a sacrament because Jesus commanded the church to practice it. Communion is a ceremony the church observes and practices as a sign of the grace God has shown to each of us. Communion is a way for those who have experienced the saving grace of Jesus to remember and celebrate what Jesus did when He died on the cross, and God raised Him from the dead.
When do I talk to my child about Communion?
Children are naturally curious and commonly ask questions about communion. If your family is involved at church, they may start asking these questions at a really young age. If the question is asked, it is the time to talk about communion.
Questions Kids Might Ask & How You Might Respond
WHAT is Communion?
Communion is for people who have made the choice to live their lives for Jesus and follow Him. They will eat small pieces of bread to remember Jesus’ body, which was broken because of His love for us. They will also drink juice to remember Jesus bled because of His love for us. Communion has other names. Sometimes communion is called the Lord’s Supper and communion can also be called the Eucharist, which means giving thanks.
WHY do we take Communion?
Communion is our way of remembering the last supper Jesus had with the disciples before He was arrested. That is why it is sometimes called the Lord’s Supper. The story about this meal with Jesus and the disciples is found in Matthew 26:17-30, Mark 14:12-26, Luke 22:7-23, and 1 Corinthians 11:23-26.Jesus said some very important words to His disciples during this meal. He said “Do this in remembrance of Me.” (Luke 22:19, 1 Corinthians 11:24-25). We include communion in our worship service as a special way to remember who Jesus is and what He did for each of us.1 Corinthians 11:26 says, “For whenever you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes.” When we take communion, we are reminded of Jesus’ death and we’re able to thank Jesus for sacrificing His life for ours on the cross.
WHO should take Communion?
People who are part of God’s family, and have asked Jesus to forgive their sins, are invited to participate in communion. Participating in the holy sacrament of communion reflects living lives of worship and obedience to God.How do you become a part of God’s family? You pray and surrender your entire life to Jesus and ask God to forgive you of your sins. The Holy Spirit gives you strength and wisdom to obey.
NEXT STEPS:
Each Christ Community campus has resources available to help guide your conversation with your children about Communion. If you feel your child is ready for more, please contact your Children’s or Student Pastor.
SEXUALITY
God Made All of Me!Justin and Lindsey Holcomb God Made Boys and Girls: Helping Children Understand the Gift of GenderMarty Machowski God Made Your BodyJim Burns How God Makes BabiesJim Burns Teaching Your Children Healthy Sexuality: A Biblical Approach to Prepare Them for LifeJim Burns
GRIEF / DEATH
Goodbye to Goodbyes Tales That Tell the TruthLauren Chandler and Catalina Echeverri Someone I Love Died Christine Harder Tangvald
IDENTITY
When God Made YouMatthew Paul Turner When God Made YouJane G. Meyer The Gospel In Color – For Kids: A Theology of Racial Reconciliation for KidsCurtis A. Woods, Jarvis J. Williams, Pip Craighead, Rommel Ruiz God Made Me AND You: Celebrating God’s Design for Ethnic DiversityShai Linne, Trish Mahoney God’s Very Good Idea: A True Story of God’s Delightfully Different FamilyTrillia Newbell, Catalina Echeverri
ANXIETY / FEAR
It Will be Okay: Trusting God Through Fear and ChangeLysa TerKeurst Hey WarriorKaren Young Zoe’s Hiding PlaceDavid Powlison
ADVENT / CHRISTMAS
Unto Us Family Worship Guide Doorposts Music Advent Storybook Laura Richie The Christmas Story Autumn Ward Preschool The Advent Storybook: 25 Bible Stories Showing Why Jesus Came Laura Richie and Ian Dale The Christmas Promise Alison Mitchell, Catalina Echeverri Song of the Stars: A Christmas Story Sally Lloyd Jones
EASTER
The Garden, The Curtain, The Cross Carl Laferton The Easter Story Patricia A Pingry Preschool The Story of the Easter Robin Dandi Daley MacKall Preschool The Easter Story Autumn Ward Preschool Holy Week: An Emotions Primer Danielle Hitchen and Jessica Blanchard Preschool Benjamin’s Box: The Story of the Resurrection Eggs The Story of the Resurrection Eggs Melody Carlson and Jack Stockman Easter Love Letters from God
BIBLE GOSPEL STORY
3-1 A Picture of GodJoanne Marxhausen Action Bible Sergio Cariello The Biggest StoryKevin DeYoung The Read-Aloud Book of Bible StoriesAmy Steedman The Story of God’s Love for YouSally Lloyd-Jones
DEVOTIONAL BOOKS
Thoughts that Make Your Heart SingSally Lloyd- Jones The Radical Book for KidsGeorge Thornton Bible InfographicsHarvest Kids Notes from Jesus Mikal Keefer I Am: Names of GodDiane Stortz The Case for Christ for Kids Book SeriesLee Strobel Indescribable: 100 Devotions for Kids About God and ScienceLouie Giglio Exploring Grace Together: 40 Devotionals for the FamilyJessica Thompson and Elyse M. Fitzpatrick
GENERAL
Lord’s Prayer CardsShe Reads Truth Praying in ColorSybil MacBeth The OlogyMarty Machowski I Will Thank You!Kids Read Truth, guided journal, scripture, and art
BIBLE GOSPEL STORY
The Big God Story – Michelle Anthony Images of God Marie – Hélène Delval Everything A Child Should Know About God – Kenneth N. Taylor Jesus Storybook – Sally Lloyd- Jones WOW! The Good News in Four Words – Dandi Daley Mackall God’s Very Good Idea – Trillia Newbell I Am: The Names of God for Little Ones – Diane Stortz The Storm That Stopped – Alison Mitchell Goodbye to Goodbyes – Lauren Chandler The Friend Who Forgives – Dan DeWitt When I Pray for You Matthew – Paul Turner The One O’Clock Miracle – Alison Mitchell The Read-Aloud Bible Stories – Ella K. Lindvall Loved: The Lord’s Prayer – Sally Lloyd Jones The Beginner’s Gospel Story Bible – Jared Kennedy, Trish Mahoney
GENERAL
The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind– Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson
General Parenting
The Look and Tell Bible– Thomas Nelson God Bless You & Goodnight– Hannah Hall Who Sang the First Song?– Ellie Holcomb You Are– Emil Assell Tonight– Emily Assell The Read-Aloud Bible Stories – Ella K. Lindvall Loved: The Lord’s Prayer – Sally Lloyd Jones The Biggest Story ABC– Kevin DeYoung and Don Clark
General Parenting
Spiritual Parenting– Michelle Anthony Don’t Miss It – Reggie Joiner and Kristen Ivy Mom Set Free – Jeannie Cunnion Bible Praying for Parents – Keith Ferrin Kids Can! – Leah Archibald Faith begins at Home – Mark Holmen Grace Based Parenting – Dr. Tim Kimmel Pass It On – Jim Burns and Jeremy Lee Faithful Families – Creating Sacred Moments at Home – Traci Smith Becoming a Spiritually Healthy Family – Michelle Anthony Faith Conversations for Families – Jim Burns The Sticky Faith Guide For Your Family – Dr. Kara Powell Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family– Paul David Tripp Handfree Mama: A Guide to Putting Down the Phone, Burning the To-Do List, and Letting Go of Perfection to Grasp What Really Matters! – Rachel Stafford Raising Grateful Kids in an Ungrateful World – Kristen Welch
