By Ashtyn Fair – Associate Pastor – Resident – Brookside Campus
Is it possible to live an unhurried life in our screen-saturated, fast-paced, noisy world? Is it feasible to have a full schedule and live slowly enough to tune into God throughout our day? In a conversation with Dallas Willard, John Ortberg asked the question, “What do I need to do to become the me I want to be?” Willard’s response will only become more and more relevant as time passes. “Hurry is the great enemy of spiritual life in our day. You must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life.”
Willard identifies a body and soul posture rather than a circumstance. He doesn’t say “a full calendar” or “busyness” is the great enemy of spiritual life. He names hurry. The key is not eliminating as much as possible from our lives; it’s slowing down our pace and shifting our attitude toward the things we’ve been given to steward. Our aim should be to live a full and active life, but to live it with an internal peace that actively takes on the “easy yoke” of Jesus.
Is it good to create margin in our lives to give our souls room to breathe? Yes. Jesus did.
Is it good to say “no” to avoid overwork or exhaustion? Yes. Jesus did.
But did Jesus also live an active and full life? Yes. Jesus was not a monk living in isolation.
During his ministry, Jesus had demands placed on him constantly; however, he did not rush or hurry or fret, for he knew who was with him along the way.
If living a rushed life is one way we are being spiritually malformed in our American context, then we need spiritual practices of counter-formation. One spiritual practice that can help slow down our pace, live more fully, and become more human in an increasingly technologically advanced world, is the ancient practice of self-examination.
The Spiritual Necessity of Self Reflection
In his book How We Think, John Dewey states, “We do not learn from experience… we learn from reflecting on experience.” The first half of his statement could be debated—we often grow from practice and experience—yet I still love the point he’s making.
Experience without reflection yields less fruit than experience with intentional reflection. Or we might say it this way: life lived without reflection is a less-human, less-transformative life.
Perhaps the reason why our lives are so fast-paced is because we are afraid to take a peek under the hood. We’re worried about what we may find staring back at us. It’s intimidating to examine our thoughts, heart, and life too closely on our own. If we were meant to reflect in isolation, we would have every reason to be afraid. We’d be faced with our sin, depravity, brokenness, with nowhere to turn.
However, the spiritual practice of self-examination, and its corollary of confession, invites us to do this with someone. A perfect someone, who is neither anxious nor judgmental about what he might find. In Christ, we never examine ourselves alone. We reflect in the very presence of the God who created us and knows us. We examine our inner thoughts and outward action day-to-day in the presence of a loving God who gives us assurance that we are seen, safe, and secure in him.
Because of this we can be relentlessly honest with our condition, remarkably confident in our position in Christ, and resolutely hopeful for him to restore us.
Self-Examination: Training Your Eyes to Truly See
The original practice of self-examination (more traditionally called Examen) is rooted in The Spiritual Exercises written by St Ignatius of Loyola (1491-1556). His aim was for believers to notice their mental, physical, and emotional realities throughout their day and trust they weren’t random, but rather a good and healthy part of their spiritual life with God. Self-examination helps us to surrender our limits, weakness, and sins to a loving and forgiving God while we intentionally desire and begin practices that lead to transformation. Throughout this examination, the Holy Spirit opens our hearts and shows us what is true about ourselves.
Scripture invites us to examine our hearts and minds in the loving presence of our Father (Psalm 4, 19, 26, 77, and 139; Galatians 4; 2 Corinthians 13; and 1 Corinthians 11). For some, the idea of self-examination may conjure up concern of self-absorption or self-focus. On the contrary, for the sake of our community and the world, we are invited to reflect so that we can be whole and healthy people, becoming more like Jesus in our thoughts, actions, and desires, for the sake of all with whom we live in community.
Practice
If you have five minutes, take a moment to be still before Jesus and practice self-examination with him. You may prefer to save this practice for the end of your day.
- Take a moment to center yourself in God’s presence.
- Think about your day so far. Invite the Holy Spirit to “highlight” these moments.
- What moments were you most grateful for? Least grateful?
- When did you give and receive the most love? The least love?
- What was the most life-giving part? The most life-draining part?
- When did you have the deepest sense of connection to God? When did you feel the least connected to God?
- When did you have the deepest sense of connection to yourself or others? The least connection to yourself or others?
- Where did you notice the fruit of the Spirit in yourself? Where was it absent?
Try to notice, without judgement, your thoughts, emotions, and any desires that rise to the surface in response to these questions.
- Journal your observations.
- What has God led you to notice? What might a response be to cultivate moments of consolation and to avoid fostering desolation?
- End with gratitude that God has invited you to notice things within the safety of his presence.
